Bad Day

I regularly hold myself to high standards. It is what has come of me being a high achiever. I expect a lot of myself, because I have goals, and I have achievements I wanna do. Because y’know, I wanna feel like an actual human being.

But sometimes, I feel like crap. I just wake up, and I do not feel like myself. Maybe something has gone wrong in my day (before it’s even started), and things are just not going to plan.

Before, that was not okay. I constantly pushed myself to get past my sadness every time I felt like it, because- who wants to be sad? Life is meant for happiness, so why don’t I get on to it? Push past my feelings, not heed to them?

But man. Man, that was wrong.

I’ve learned, since, that bad days are normal. Bad days come very often.

And that’s okay.

It’s perfectly okay to have a bad day, to just not feel like everything is in place. To not feel quite like yourself (you ain’t 100 yet). That's alright. The human condition is not one of constant happiness, because happiness is not constant. It is always fluctuating, always changing. Some days, it will hit you, and your day will be like a breath of fresh air. Sometimes, it eludes you, and you’re left...empty.

This emptiness, does not mean you are broken.

In fact, it means the opposite.

It means, your human body has suffered enough, has gone through enough, for the day, the week, the month; even, the hour. It means you have limits, and that you are, indeed, a human being. You have complex emotions and feelings, sensations that will take you places good and bad, high and low. It means, you have limits.

And you need to stop.

You need to listen to yourself, and pause. Take a break. Put down your pencil. Put down whatever you’re doing, and just- stop.

You are human. You deserve a break. You need a rest, from whatever craziness is going on in your life. For this post, I am particularly talking about one, bad day.

And that’s the thing. It’s one thing, in the course of one day. It’s not the determinant of all the stuff that’ll go on in your life. It’s not any sign of the future, how bad, or good, it may be. It is an isolated incident; one thing, that has happened.

And it should be treated as such. Often, when we are stressed, we tend to overthink our emotions. We exaggerate; we think we are suffering more than we really are. Even now, as I type this, I consider my Humanities lecture from two days ago as exhausting, even though it was actually really bomb. The way you are feeling now, it is your current state of mind, not your overall self. Do not take yourself, as you are now, as your entire life. It is just for today, and today only.

So, with that in mind, the next step is to do whatever make you happy, and brings you peace. I, for one, love talking to myself. It lets me get my thoughts down, and (this is sorta weird), but I actually have a conversation with my anxiety. I chat to it like a friend. Like, “Hey, what’s up? What do you need? Anything I can do for you?” And that way, the overbearing feelings eases itself. It abates, because, if anxiety can be talked to, then what can it do to me?

Writing your thoughts down really helps too, because there is a TON of crap you need to get out. And when you do, let it flow. Don’t censor yourself. See yourself on paper- your true self, the way you’re feeling now- and interact with that. Ask, “Why am I feeling this way?” and “What can I do about it?” Be proactive in your suffering (sounds weird, I know), not passive. Address it. Confront it. Learn from it.

Also, music. When I’m stressed, I have a list of comfort songs to turn to, and that’s also different for everyone. These are usually songs that make me cry (because by the time I sit myself down, I need catharsis).

Also, if y’all want my ultimate simp songs, it’s Daniel Caesar’s “Blessed”. It is the most, tender, quietly beautiful songs I’ve ever heard. If you want even MORE of a simp song...I’ve actually forbidden myself from listening to this one, because I will, 100% cry.. Every. Single. Time. It’s Daniel Caesar’s “We Find Love”. Get the tissues ready. Shoutout to Gurshi Kaur for ruining my life with this. </3

So, at the bottom of all this (literally, hehe), the message is- think of your life journey as a mountain. You are constantly climbing, always seeking to reach the top, because- what’s up there! But, you need to take a break, because you’re tired. So, you rest. You rest, and you catch your breath, and look at the view, and think “Wow. That’s...amazing. I just did that.” You take a sip of water, breath in the cold air, and you’re good to go.

THAT’S the way to conquer life. THAT’S the way to win it all. By knowing yourself, and recognizing what you need, and giving yourself time to get that. If you do this, everytime you have a bad day, you’ll find that your bad days may be less...bad. :)